Struggling Snowflakes

20161124_124600_resizedI made this table runner for my own table.  I usually don’t make much for myself, but it seems odd to be a quilter and not have quilted stuff all over your house.  It is an interesting batik and I was not appalled at my quilting this time.   When I did the quilting, I was sort of thinking/going for snow drifts.  It came out all right.

The snowflakes are not struggling.  I am guilty of that.  Basically I have been feeling like crap and am sick of it.  I have two conditions that are currently competing with each other in my body.  For years I have had something called Dopa Responsive Dystonia.  For me, it basically means that I have the worst Charlie horses all over my body.  Medication had solved about 90% of it until the Rheumatoid arthritis reared its ugly head.  So the drugs for that cause the dystonia to be a zillion times worse.  Like I actually have cramps in my jaw (awful) and my tongue (imagine how that looks and sounds when talking).  I spend a lot of my free time at work, hoping no one notices that occasionally my arm shoots across the table without warning and begins contorting, which often causes tears to run down my face.  They attempt to solve this with powerful anti-seizure drugs that I don’t want to take because they can be very addictive and when you have to take them around the clock.  It makes a person wonder.  Then there are the two doctors, the rheumatologist and the neurologist, who don’t really want to talk to each other, they just want to prescribe more drugs.   Yesterday I was at the neurologist and pretty much begged him to talk to the Rheumatologist.  Just got a dumbfounded look and an offer to write him a letter.  Really?

Actually discussed with Kevin last night if I should just stop taking everything, because I am not sure much is helping.  If you want the Rheumatoid to be better you have to screw with the dystonia drugs.  It is a no win.  My only saving grace is the inexpensive hot tub Kevin put in the garage for me.  It is really the only thing that helps. I find myself in it 2-3 times a day.

I know I should just stop feeling sorry for myself.  I just don’t want to always feel like crap.  On a positive note, my daughter Miranda is doing well after the accident.  Working on therapy.

Happy Sewing

Happy Quilting

Treasure your Family

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