Life

Where to start?

I often feel I am nearly a shell of my former self.

I have heard these words come out of my mouth at a doctor’s office “You ruined my life”

I know there are people that are suffering far worse than I am.

I was just served a big old piece of not what I expected and not what you told me.

I agreed to have the second spine surgery because I still had some spinal issues. The main one was that I have no feeling in my bowels. Use your Imagination on that one. It was my main reason for doing it. My only reason for doing it. I could manage the pain. As a woman, I feel we are predisposed to managing pain in general. I didn’t care about the pain. I cared about that one thing that often kept me confined to my home and sometimes kept me confined to a room in my home.

Besides not solving my main issue, this last spinal surgery gave me a few additional bonus issues. I have ridiculous shoulder pain. I cannot lift either arm over my head. My entire spine hurts with the exception of my neck. Pretty sure they cut all the nerves in my neck so I couldn’t complain about that. I have constant debilitating headaches. I have random whole-body weakness, I never know what I am going to wake up to. My body is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get.

So, I got some medication to help with the headaches. Took away 80% of them, which is good. The bad part is, it makes all carbonated stuff taste bad. I love my coke zero and now I can’t have that either.

Poor Poor Me……

Life goes on. I truly do understand why some people give up though. It would certainly be easy to do.

I am not the give-up type. Too many people depend on me.

Quilting and Sewing – Yes I do manage to do some. I am not super fast these days. I made all the blocks in the quilt in the photo on a retreat I went to in March. I am glad I went. Got them all put together a few weeks ago. This was in a jelly roll book that Nanette gave me. I find it an interesting-looking quilt.

Working on a few other items.Some new and some old. I will try to keep up better, even though I am super grouchy most of the time. I will do better.

Happy sewing

Happy Quitling

16 thoughts on “Life”

  1. sending gentle hugs to you Lori! Sounds like health issues are piling up and it’s no wonder you’re feeling grouchy. It’s difficult to smile when each new days brings pain and you can’t see any relief on the horizon. I am pleased to hear you managed to get away to a quilting retreat though and the piece you made is beautifully vibrant!

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  2. Sorry to hear about your troubles. It doesn’t matter if someone else has it worse, there is still pain and impacts on your quality of life that you have to deal with. Don’t feel like you have to be positive about it, that just makes it worse if that’s not how you feel. If you want to have a rage, have a rage. But don’t be afraid to ask for help either for both your physical and mental health, and keep quilting for as long as it brings you joy

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  3. As you mentioned, life does go on. Just make sure to take care of yourself…validate your feelings, both the positive and the negative. I hope each day brings you relief.

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