Trying to find my place…

I am lost in every sense of the word.

We went on vacation, which was good.  Some of vacation was for us (beach), then we met up with family.  My cousin and his family came from Germany.  I have not seen him in some time.  It was wonderful seeing them.

So for a couple of days, we went to Ocean City Maryland.  We had a great time.  I ate crab cakes and crab cakes and crab cakes.  I like crab cakes in case you have not guessed.

Then we went on to Washington DC to spend time with my cousin and my sister Karen and her family.  We had a great time there too.  But there was something missing.  My sister Kellie.  She was my traveling partner a lot.  Before we both married we had a really good time.  Even after marriage and children, we managed to sneak a couple trips in.  I miss that.  I miss her.  It just seems wrong.  I am wondering why I struggle so much with her death.  I have buried two husbands, but this one gets me.  I feel like I will never get over it.  I find myself not wanting to do anything, but I do.

Yes, you must suffer through my vacation photo’s.  I am even in them (I avoid photos like an allergy) LOL.

The Capitol – Been years since I went to D.C.
My spot at the Beach!
My cousin Holger, my daugther and me
The whole lot of us at the Spy museum!

Spy Museum (D.C.), Beach, Me, Haley (daughter), Holger (cousin) and the capital.

Oh, and the quilt.  So, my most wonderful friend Nanette, sent me a box that had some scraps and a few finished blocks.  I made this interesting table runner from it.  It is a bit Improv, but I do like the colors a lot.

Happy Sewing

Happy Quilting

19 thoughts on “Trying to find my place…”

  1. Beautiful runner. I like how you did the binding. I might try that. I’m really sorry for the loss of your sister. These things can take years and years and years to get so we can deal with them. I felt that way about losing my mother. It’s 37 years now, but it took at least 25 before I could talk about her without choking up. We carry our loved ones around in our hearts and they never leave us. In time (sometimes a LONG time) we can talk about them with less pain. Be thankful you had her and think good thoughts. The pain will lessen.

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  2. I was 23 when my grandmother passed. She was the woman I was closest to. This was twenty years ago. I still find myself wanting to talk to her and wishing I could tell her about my day. I find it helps to do something you would do with your sister, intentionally, and do it as an honor to her. My grandmother and I often baked and I had to share the cookies or cake I brought home with my brothers, darn it. Sometimes, I just have to make a pineapple upside down cake, just for her. Speaking of which… I may need one for quilt guild tonight. Keep honoring your sister, Kellie, and tell us about her. You’ll always miss her company a little, but cherish those memories.

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  3. Oh crab cakes… I’m so jealous right now! 😁 I grow up around ocean city,Maryland. I remember ocean city when there was nothing but sand ,grass, and those fences they put up… before tourists hit it. Now the people that visit there being summer time is unreal! I think through while it sad that you miss your sister it’s also nice that you mention that you miss her. Glad you had a lovely vacation with family.

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  4. Hi Lori! I love what Anneli said as it’s so very true. We each get over grief in different ways and time. My sister had a recording of my mom that it took me 14 years to listen to. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, no matter how much she nagged me about it. So, please share Kellie with us. It’s fun to hear about all the good times you shared, and maybe it helps to talk about it. {{Hugs}} Your runner is gorgeous – I’m glad you could take that box of fun from Nanette and turn it into something of beauty to be enjoyed. ~smile~ Roseanne

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  5. Ah, Lori – Kellie’s loss is still new. It’s going to hit you hard at times, and it’s hard to know when those times will be. Hang in there and keep sewing and doing things with your family.

    Your table runner is wonderful!

    Hugs to you,
    Jodie

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  6. A beautiful runner, Lori, and a good vacation seeing family too! Don’t rush yourself, grief is a journey, and as long as you keep living your life, you will honor Kellie. The pain will not be as sharp in time, but it is still early. You have moved forward in this process, and you will get there. Be encouraged, and keep quilting! Still praying, and sending hugs!

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  7. My heart goes out to you. The loss of a sibling has got to be one of the worse kinds of grief to bare. Don’t know what I will do if my brother goes before me. You are in my prayers. If your parents have passed, then she is the one who has known YOU the longest. I do not find it strange that you struggle with her passing. Be kind to yourself, and let the grief happen, then try to remember the good times. Please, share stories of her and you growing up and the trips you mentioned. Hugs.

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  9. That is a very pretty, colorful runner. I like the binding stitch, too! … The loss of Kellie is recent and raw. It does take time. You never forget, it just gets a little easier to handle. I miss my brother. A smell. A song. An adventure. It all brings memories rushing back and I am sure leaving others wondering about my sudden melancholy. It has been 32 years. He was an important part of my life and I still miss our times together. Honor and share Kellie as much as possible. 🙂

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